Are you having issues in your house of teeny little fruit flies trying to destroy your sanity via harassing you all  Just me?  Yes, you there?!
 Good, thought so.
 Well, I thought I'd share my little fruit fly pearls of wisdom with the world wide web.
 I probably should have shared this in June or July-- but you see I started this blog in August so that was inconceivable.
 And this problem is drawn to my attention currently because I have a bucket load (literally) of yummy pears sitting in my kitchen back porch (I kicked 'em out).  I've already cut and cooked up half of them to make into baby food.  The other half are waiting to be eaten and are currently breeding yucky flies.  Ew.
 So, without further Ado:

Step One

Mix up a 1/2 mixture of apple cider vinegar and dish soap.

Step Two

Place the apple cider vinegar and dish soap mixture in a dark room with one light on.

Those little buggers like two things: Strong, sweet smells and the light.  So this combo seems to do the trick.

That's it, so simple.  Why didn't I do it two days ago?